“THOU SHALT NOT COVET.”
[Note: a pdf file of this post is available to download and print. See link at bottom.]
Trying to guide a little child through the “I want what I want when I want it!” phase may require patience and disciplining from the adults in charge. With proper guidance most children will soon learn to quiet their impulses to a greater degree, to share their toys, to learn generosity, and have a sense of happiness for the good fortunes of others. What can be difficult to let go of, however, is that sense of yearning for what we think should be ours, especially when our friends or others who are close to us seem to possess what is our heart’s desire. When taken to extreme that attitude leads to greed, envy, lust, and covetousness. The Tenth Commandment is God’s warning to beware of those grasping thoughts for they can lead us further into temptation or dangerous mental territory.
In the Commandments leading up to the Tenth, the emphasis was mostly on what NOT to do. We are told not to kill, steal, bear false witness, commit adultery, to avoid idolatry and other gods. But now we are given a commandment that tells us how we should THINK! It is an important law, as it would go a long way to help us avoid breaking the ‘thou shalt not” commands.
“Thou shalt not covet” is a choice we make in the secrecy of our heart. If we let covetousness grow unchecked, however, it can break out into deeds unworthy of a Christian. If we challenge the envious or greedy thoughts, and pull out those wicked mental weeds, we will help to harmonize our lives and bring more peace of mind to ourselves and those around us.
It requires a lot of discipline and humility to not covet while living in a society that equates success with wealth or abundant possessions, relationships, and opportunities. But one secret of happiness is learning to be content and satisfied with what one has. This doesn’t preclude a healthy sense of ambition to achieve worthy goals, but as we move through life, being accepting of what has come to us by way of work or family ties, keeps us from acting upon those selfish, grasping desires, which can make us miserable. It is humanly normal to desire good things, but not to an extreme and not for an excess of material things or self-indulgence. That is greed. Greed is NOT good, in spite of what certain movies may celebrate.
So, how do we teach our children at home or in a Sunday School class not to covet or envy what others have, and to not let greed take over their thoughts? Possibly the best way to raise a contented child is for the parents to set a good example consistently. Consistency is the goal, as we all have our little moments of wishful thinking, and our children take notice of what we do. They will absorb the values of those around them, and if those values are good ones children can grow up to be adults of a generous spirit, unselfish, and kindhearted. But if a child’s family puts a premium on accumulating wealth and possessions, and they preach that happiness depends upon what they possess in the way of material objects or accolades, this false sense of pride is what will be taught to the child. If parents too often indulge their children’s whims or demands for certain toys, clothes, or experiences, when they are clearly above and beyond what is needed or is out of the family’s budget, then it may be hard to undo that inclination towards greed and covetousness. If parents can instill a love for God and a sense of gratitude and contentment in their children, it can give them a foundation to return to when they are inevitably tempted to covet what others have and perhaps make clumsy efforts to get what they desire by any means. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
Here are some ideas for discussing the Tenth Commandment in Sunday School or at home:
FOR YOUNG CHILDREN
A typical early lesson that parents often teach their children is to say “please and thank-you.” This is a good beginning for instilling the “attitude of gratitude” that is an antidote for covetousness. Giving thanks to God with a grateful heart can also help us in times of trouble as well as in times of triumph. The Apostle Paul wrote: “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (I Thessalonians 5:18)
There are not many Bible stories appropriate for little children on the subject of covetousness, but Sunday School teachers might point out Bible characters who gave thanks to God, rather than indulging in self-pity or ingratitude. See the Psalms of David (who had a severe case of covetousness, too, which you can discuss with older students), and the stories of Jesus (Matthew 15:36), his mother Mary (Luke 1:39-55), Hannah the mother of Samuel (I Samuel 1), and the Healed Leper (Luke 17:12-19). Giving thanks to God and those who help us is a lesson that is best repeated over and over, and demonstrated by the grown-ups in daily life.
One on-going game or exercise you can do with the youngest children is to ask them to name three things they are grateful for. Eventually try to get them to expand on their choices, or offer suggestions for what they might consider. Open their eyes to how much there is to be thankful for, even in the midst of depressing circumstances. Point out the simple joys in life – the beauty of nature, the joy of friends and pets, giving to others in need. Ask them about their week at home and get them to see the good that is there, and how happiness does not depend upon what we own but what we express in our thoughts, words, and deeds.
Another early lesson for little children is about “sharing.” This is easily demonstrated as they learn how to play properly with their friends, but what about things they would like to have that their playmates or siblings have that cannot be shared? Ask the children to tell the class any stories about times they have experienced this feeling of wanting what someone else has. Since this is a normal feeling for most children (grown-ups, too!) do not judge them against the Tenth Commandment, but introduce the concept of coveting and greed and that it is one of God’s rules we want to learn to obey. Perhaps practice with them how to replace envious or greedy thoughts with words of gratitude. They can also know it is loving to be happy for the blessings that come to others, even if we may have a sense they are not deserving. Discuss how to be a good loser and a gracious winner and why that is important. Also, have them think about times when other children may covet or want something they have. How would they feel or behave if another friend tried to take away or steal a favorite toy, or a best friend, for instance?
These small efforts may teach them empathy for the feelings of others, and why they should not boast or brag about what they have or what they have done. Perhaps read part of the story of Joseph and how he may have flaunted his coat of many colors that his father had made especially for him and stirred up envy and jealousy in his brothers. (See Genesis, chapter 37) We do not want our friends or siblings to get angry with us, to covet what we have, and so perhaps behave unkindly toward us.
Point out the line in the Lord’s Prayer: “Give us this day our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11). Remind them that we can pray to God for our needs and he will give us what we need when we need it, rather than what we want when we want it. That humble, child-like, receptivity can keep us safe from feelings of deprivation. We want children to build trust in God, the Great Giver of all good.
FOR OLDER CHILDREN/TEENS
For older students, introduce the longer form of the Tenth Commandment (King James Version) below. Note that the word translated “house,” according to Bible scholars, means “household” and refers to all the possessions listed in the rest of the Commandment.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.” (Exodus 20:17)
Depending upon their age or ability to understand or handle any of the following, these are Bible stories that feature covetous behavior in some form, that can be read or discussed in Sunday School:
1) David covets Uriah’s wife Bathesheba (II Samuel 11:1-27; punishment 12:13-23)
2) Ahab covets the vineyard of Nabath (I King 21:1-16; punishment 17-29) Punishment is very grim.
3) Cain covets God’s respect for his brother Abel. (Genesis 4:1-8; punishment 9-16)
4) James and John covet special seats next to Jesus (Mark 10:35-40; displeasure of disciples 41-45)
For a long account of what Jesus said about covetousness and the desire for things, read Luke 12:13-34. This section includes the clearest reasons on why a desire to personally build up our wealth or possessions is wrong. A few of his statements (King James Version):
“Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.”
“Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on. The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment.”
“For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
“Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”
Similar statements above are also found in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 6). That chapter ends with his admonition:
“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.” (Matthew 6:34)
Point out to the students the line from the Lord’s Prayer: “Give us this day our daily bread.” Just as this prayer trusts God with our daily human needs, our desires for something more in the future must be handed over to God, trusting that He will provide in His own way the avenue or opportunities that will manifest as a sense of abundance, a sense that we have all we need and therefore can be satisfied and content with our lives. There is no need to cast an envious eye on what others have. Doing so may prevent us from seeing what God may already have in store for us.
Inspire your students or children with a desire to serve others, to use their God-given talents, their education, their resources, for the good of humanity. This can create a sense of self-worth that will have no need to covet, no need to act upon greedy impulses. We are each special in God’s eyes and we each are given just the right ideas we need to fulfill God’s gracious plans for us.
“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matt 6:33)
TEACHING THE TENTH COMMANDMENT TO CHRISTIAN SCIENCE SUNDAY SCHOOL PUPILS
For those parents or Sunday School teachers interested in lessons on the Tenth Commandment based upon the teachings of Mary Baker Eddy, the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science, you can check out the lessons below, which are done in Question and Answer format, found in my book First Lessons in Christian Science, Volume One: The Ten Commandments. These lessons can be read aloud or the teacher can simply use the ideas and citations offered to customize a lesson geared toward a particular age or ability to understand. You might want to also read the introductory material in the book, as well as background information helpful in teaching the Ten Commandments. Many adults who are new to Christian Science have also found these simple explanations helpful for themselves in understanding basic concepts.
The Tenth Commandment – For Young Children
What does “covet” mean?
If envy is similar to covetousness, does it also break the Tenth Commandment?
Is being greedy the same as coveting?
What about lust? Does it have to do with covetousness?
If coveting has to do only with what we think, and it does not seem to hurt the ones we envy, why is it bad?
If we covet and envy others, will that make us sick?
What can we do to lessen envy and covetousness?
What about our desires for things we really, really want? Can God help us deal with these longings?
What desires are the right kind to have?
What about our affections? Is it wrong to simply like something, or want something good in our lives?
If we are to trust God to give us what we need, so that we are not tempted to covet others, what exactly can we expect Him to give us?
What qualities of thought will help us overcome covetousness?
For older students, or Sunday School teachers and parents, my essay “The Tenth Commandment – a Christian Science Perspective” offers further insight
Copyright 2020 Vicki Jones Cole
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Previous: Teaching Children the Ninth Commandment
See also:
Teaching Children the Ten Commandments
Teaching Children the Beatitudes
Teaching Children the Lord’s Prayer, Part 1 (Intro and Background)
About this blog and book and a Welcome!
Introducing Children to the Concept of God
Becoming a Living Monument to the Ten Commandments
For a list of all articles and essays on this site, visit the Essays page.
For a list of daily lessons from the book “First Lessons in Christian Science” found on this site, that are useful in teaching children at home or in Sunday School, visit these pages:
Volume One: The Ten Commandments
Volume Two: The Beatitudes
Volume Three: The Lord’s Prayer
UPDATE: The complete book of First Lessons in Christian Science, Volume One: The Ten Commandments in its original format is now available for purchase as a downloadable file at The Bookmark online. Visit my Author’s Page at: https://thebookmark.com/vicki-jones-cole-2.
For a transcript of a public lecture on Christian Science suitable for a newcomer,
see “God’s Man or Adam’s Man.”
Download a pdf file of the above blog post:
First Lessons in Christian Science 